Caskey, Damon V.

Kolf, Emily

2015-02-09

Self Identity

 

When asked to identify one’s identity in a community space, the first word that probably comes to mind is “nebulous”. To wit, were you to ask X number of individuals to define a community, you’d be likely as not to receive X number of disparate responses. Now ask that same group to identify themselves, and the results are certain to be similar.

I’d call finding an identity to be something like “finding yourself”. And I would then ask, how do you find something that is always in flux? My answer is that you fall back to the process that creates the identity. First, we’ll throw an idea of identity out for discussion. Next, we’ll compare self-identity to activity and occupation. Finally, we’ll see about melding these together into something more concrete and cohesive – perhaps this will answer the question of there really being an identity at all. While we’re at it, perhaps some sense can be made of the pyrograph in progress behind me.

 

So let us begin with the first point of discussion, the part where I try to tell you who I think I am. If I were to go the route of hobbies and interests, we’d be here all day. I’m a card carrying high functioning ADHD “sufferer” and actually a bit proud of it. As a result of that and general curiosity, my hobby is collecting hobbies. Let’s just say I’m eclectic jack of all trades and leave it at that.

So instead I’ll note what I think is my two most positive aspects. I’m a determined and driven person. I can tell you with confidence that once I set my mind to a task whether it be a local mud run or attaining a PhD, I see it through. This isn’t me telling you I’m unstoppable. Not by any means. It does mean that only success or total failure to the point of no further reprisal are ever acceptable. I can be beaten – but I never lose.

The other trait is curiosity. I live to soak up information, learn new skills, and analyze just about anything I come across. Remember the little kid who takes apart everything just to see how it works? I never grew out of that. Ms. Kolf herself could probably attest to this already when she caught me hungrily eyeballing the esoteric communication system near our class door. Unfortunately, that habit also extends to people, some of whom don’t appreciate my treating them as living cogs to be disseminated.

 

 

 

It’s these “others” that brings us to the second area of discussion, that being self-identity with others and activities. As already mentioned my hobbies and activities are a bit all over the place. Two months prior I traveled to Denver to perform volunteer flood aid. Last night I attended a bi-weekly gymnastics course that I alternate with the UK boxing club. Tonight I’ll be working some on a concept paper discussing an idea of applying four point holographic images and human trance response as a possible conduit to learning. This weekend I’ll be square dancing for Valentine’s Day. The weekend after I’ll assist my family with our jewelry and firearm businesses back in my hometown of Morehead. And when I leave this class, it’s straight to an 11:00 meeting with my supervisor, who happens to be Division Directory for campus Environmental Health and Safety. That’s where I build database and web applications to track pretty much everything to do with safety.

Does this person sound busy? Funny, because I didn’t name half the engagements, and really it’s a light week. I would say, and maybe you agree that it’s really a bit scatterbrained. I DID say I was ADHD and like to stay moving did I not? The constant is no constant.

 

So now we’ve come to our last point. I’ll keep this one short and simple because I believe that it is. I was raised to eschew any singular concept of identity, and so have chosen a lifestyle of constant stimulation, stress and challenge. I’m not a jock – I just like to play sports. I’m not a nerd – I’m a guy who loves technology, culture and learning. And as is probably obvious, these choices have reflected back to feed my own curiosity in a loop that is a little frenzied, but always fun.

 

I’m looking at a lot of people here who are probably thinking after saying all that, I must believe I’m pretty special. On that I would implore you to take a look at the video portion of this presentation. Assuming my pyrography skills are not utterly pitiful, you will see that a snowflake has been taking shape while I speak. That snowflake is me. It is utterly unique, ever in flux, and impossible to replicate by any science we are aware of. But it does share certain traits with billions of its brethren. It is a six sided crystalline allotment of dihydrogen monoxide. Which I might add, makes up the physical structure of every person on Earth. Every single one of us, sharing some basic common traits as sentient creatures – but each being nebulous, ever changing. Unique. Delicate, but thus far eternal. I AM special, but no more than any of you. So let me finish by saying, this time of your life where you find yourself? That’s a farce. You can never find what doesn’t really exist. Create yourself instead. You’ll never finish the project, but like me you might have some fun and do a little good along the way.