July 4th found me home alone while Nichole and the kids visited her family. Having wasted most of the day, I decided kind of last minute to see the Cincinnati Fireworks display at Newport on The Levee. I remembered last year when we took the kids there it was a blast.

Of course, being alone meant this time I could check it out from the river in my Kayak. Kayaks don’t need boat ramps for obvious reasons, but my Tahoe certainly needed a parking spot, and the only launch point to be found was about five miles up stream. No big, except it meant I was pushing for time; I just made it as the show was starting.

The cool part was having the best vantage point of anyone on the river. Powered boats aren’t allowed in the staging area, but I was (or rather, there wasn’t much they could do to keep me out). It was a spectacular show. Funny enough, my Kayak attracted a lot of attention too – boaters stopped to take pictures as they passed me on the way there, and I got a ton of requests from onlookers at the shore park to do some tricks and such. I was happy to oblige, as well as could be done on flat water anyway. Afterward, I ported on the Ohio side at the park to stretch my legs and chatted a bit with them.

And then it all went south, literally. While waiting for the mass exodus of cabin cruisers, speedboats, and their likely as not heavily inebriated pilots to finish up, I decided I’d cross over to the south bank, get some ice cream, and join the remaining festival at the Newport Aquarium Plaza.

But walking up the shore directly below the aquarium, I slipped on an ottoman sized hunk of concrete and fell directly on my toes, breaking three and spraining my right ankle. Soft sole river shoes are usually sure footed, but as you might guess, they don’t offer any support or protection if you do happen to falter. Adding insult to injury was the piece promptly tipped and rolled over to pin my foot down. Naturally, this took place in full view of hundreds of people, some of whom rushed down to help, but by that time I had already gotten a little hot under the collar and chucked it downriver myself. Probably not the smartest thing to do on a busted foot, but hey, at least I was free.

Afterward, I managed to pop two toes back in place, but the third just wasn’t going. Paddling back to my vehicle wouldn’t have been that hard per say, but the hour or so of travel time would mean that much more swelling and difficulty getting the toe fixed. So after getting some nearby bikers to watch my kayak, I took a cab back to my truck, drove it to the Kayak, and then headed home. On the way I stopped at Saint Francis and had them snap everything into place.

Of course, that was only after three x-rays, two shots, and wheeling me about the place on a crash cart equipped stretcher for three hours. For a broken toe. They also tried to give me a Vicodin prescription; thanks but no thanks. It’s stuff like this why I hospitals. All I needed was a set of more experienced hands then my own to snap the bone back and make sure there wasn’t any more serious damage. Nothing more or less; in a practical word, it wouldn’t have taken two minutes, and certainly didn’t call for narcotics.

Anyway, it was still fun all in all. Next year I plan to be back, only this time I’ll plan ahead and have more time to spare. It’s too bad none of the pictures I took came out right. My little camera just sucks for low light.

Until next time!
DC

Videos: Fireworks On The Ohio, Fireworks On The Ohio 2